Examination of Conscience for Men

Begin with honesty about your circumstances

A man’s dignity does not depend on income, physical strength, marital status, or the ability to appear untroubled. Catholic teaching affirms the shared dignity and call to holiness of women and men. Your examination concerns the choices you freely made in your own circumstances.

Some men are fathers or husbands; others are single, widowed, celibate, unemployed, disabled, or receiving care. Use the questions relevant to your life. Asking for support can be an act of responsibility, especially when a hidden difficulty is harming you or others.

Responsibility and the use of power

Consider where you had influence over someone’s safety, money, time, or opportunities.

• Have I used physical strength, authority, money, or social influence to intimidate rather than serve?
• Have I made promises to a child, partner, friend, or colleague and knowingly failed to honor them?
• Have I concealed a mistake because admitting it would cost status, leaving someone else to bear the consequences?
• Have I treated asking for help as weakness and refused help even while my choices were harming people entrusted to me?

Work, competition, and friendship

Reflect on the standards you have accepted in ordinary conversations and decisions.

• Have I cheated a client, coworker, employer, or employee in order to win, earn, or appear successful?
• Have I joined degrading talk, bullying, or dangerous behavior to prove that I belonged?
• Have I neglected a friendship through deliberate self-interest or used another person only when I needed something?
• Have I encouraged a friend’s harmful conduct instead of speaking truthfully when it was reasonably my responsibility?

Chastity, anger, and truth

Look at chosen actions rather than assuming that a feeling determines guilt.

• Have I used pornography, sought sexual behavior contrary to chastity, or pressured another person sexually?
• Have I betrayed a marital commitment or deliberately cultivated an intimacy I knew was disloyal?
• Have I chosen threats, cruelty, revenge, or destructive outbursts while excusing them as a normal part of being a man?
• Have I lied about a habit or used blame to avoid taking responsibility for what I did?

Prayer and faithful service

Have I deliberately kept faith outside decisions that affect work, money, relationships, or private conduct? Have I used religion to demand obedience from others while resisting correction myself? Have I neglected worship without a serious reason, or refused a clear opportunity for mercy?

Consider one ordinary act of service that requires no audience: a fair payment, a kept promise, an apology without excuses, or patient attention to someone dependent on you. These examples can help identify what amendment would mean after confession.

Bring the real matter into the open

If a recurring pattern involves violence, addiction, or serious dishonesty, naming it in confession should accompany appropriate practical help. Do not make the person you harmed responsible for supervising your change. Ask the priest about accountable next steps.

You can begin with a simple sentence: “I have kept this hidden, and I need help changing it.” The courage needed for confession is the willingness to tell the truth and receive mercy. Use that beginning even if the rest feels difficult.